Monday 30 April 2012

Wounded



Adrift in the city, I picked up a fallen twig
and lifted its whisper to my pale lips
maybe it was the crying of the geese,
a cracked pine cone, or a bruised heart
Something from afar flutter its wings 
echoes of tropical sea, beside the volcanic bed, 
the pitter patter of rain on palm leaf, 
soft as frangipani petals on bamboo mats 
Awakening from deep winter night, the maple leaf
sang under my tongue, its sweet fragrance 
wafting cheeks, now blushed with hot summer nights
Suddenly my breast clenched in memory of 
my roots, shorelines stringed of coconut husks,
halved, its fleshy juice quenching my thirst,     
and I stopped, wounded by the wandering scent. *
Line and Inspiration:   Pablo Neruda:   Lost in the forest 

Posted for:   Real Toads and D'verse Poets Pub:   OpenLinkNight
Thanks for the visit and smiles.    

66 comments:

  1. This is a very moving poem. You have infused the natural world with emotion and intensity in the way in which Neruda excels.

    I loved this line - the choice of the word 'crying' lifts it into shared experience: maybe it was the crying of the geese...

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    1. Thank you Kerry ~ Neruda is my inspiration ~

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  2. I love the first stanza, the whisper of a fallen twig... and the second stanza so vivid. Really amazing piece, Grace!!

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    1. Thanks Laurie. I appreciate your lovely words ~

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  3. loved each and every imagery here...intense yet sublime...

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  4. Wow what a twig can spur. A whole lot of life came about from its save. Wonderful imagery.

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    1. Thanks Pat...no rhyming today for the twig ~

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  5. Awakening from deep winter night, the maple leaf
    sang under my tongue, its sweet fragrance
    wafting cheeks, now blushed with hot summer nights

    that is a delicious stanza...i really love the focus on all the senses in this...even more than the smell you end on...neruda is a great inspiration as well...lovely piece grace...

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    1. Thank you Brian..I was going for the sensual images. And yes, Neruda inspires me ~

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  6. Scent is so very powerful in recalling memories...very nice.

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    1. Yes, it is Mark. Thank you for the visit ~

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  7. wonderful writing, Grace - I love the way nature suffuses the whole

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  8. Strong piece Heaven. You really did a great job here, the imagery and detail of the scene is very good. Thanks

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    1. Thank you Fred for the lovely comments ~ I appreciate them ~

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  9. The images you've created here evoke so many emotions, such a detailed, vivid picture. Wonderful!

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  10. I picked up a fallen twig
    and lifted its whisper to my pale lips

    just beautiful!

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  11. TemptingSweets9930 April 2012 at 16:28

    Very moving. Neruda is inspiring, indeed. :)

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    1. He is one of my fav writers ~ Thanks for the visit ~

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  12. "Adrift in the city, I picked up a fallen twig
    and lifted its whisper to my pale lips
    maybe it was the crying of the geese,
    a cracked pine cone, or a bruised heart" this alone would have been enough...all so beautifully woven together.

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    1. Thank you Laura for the visit and lovely words ~

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  13. "Adrift in the city, I picked up a fallen twig
    and lifted its whisper to my pale lips
    maybe it was the crying of the geese,
    a cracked pine cone, or a bruised heart" Can I just say wow...breathtaking poem. I love it, Grace.

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    1. Thank you for the visit and lovely words Ayala ~

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  14. Very beautiful. A scent triggers a memory, going back a little, remember where you come from. Great impact on the whole.

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    1. Yes, it does Ravenblack ~ Thank you for the visit ~

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  15. This is intense, Grace! It moves the emotions and also goes into such great details. Great write!

    Hank

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  16. LOVE the word choices here, Heaven:
    "maybe it was the crying of the geese,
    a cracked pine cone, or a bruised hearts"
    "shorelines strings of coconut husks"
    Just beautiful.

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  17. I stopped wounded by the wandering scent...I can relate. A scent has taken me back to a time of pain, but thankfully it has also taken me back to joy. A beautifully moving poem

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    1. That last line is from Neruda's poem...beautiful isn't it? Thanks for the visit and appreciation ~

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  18. The tropics will always sing to you in your dreams. It never leaves you!

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    1. How perceptive of you...and I agree ~ Thanks for the visit ~

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  19. The first stanza reeled me right in......very evocative in mood and images. I could hear echoes of home weaving through the frangipani petals and the bamboo. Really beautiful writing.

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  20. Found you through your comments on Jannie Funster's blog. Love the flow of emotions felt through these words. Pablo Naruda offers timeless wisdom. Even he points toward universal language that speaks through everything. tap into the heartbeat of soul and it guides the never-ending journey.

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  21. You must miss your home dreadfully sometimes. I know I miss mine at times too.
    This was a wonderful, dreamy trip into your mind of what it is your heart aches for.
    Beautiful imagery Grace.

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  22. I love it when twigs and trees whisper to me....

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  23. nature can be affecting, much like your words.
    very pretty.

    :)

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  24. "Awakening from deep winter night, the maple leaf
    sang under my tongue," What a brilliant extrapolation from the twig touching your lips...then to reach into your own roots. This is a very smart poem. Very tight, focused and filled with images that engage us and forget to let us go. Excellent piece.

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  25. Glad you shared this today because I think it's gorgeous...enjoyed reading it again. :)

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  26. I love your words...love the feeling...thank you

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  27. Wonderful submersion in a memory. Love the inspiration too :)

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  28. This is beautiful, Heaven. My favorite is the last stanza and line, and I always appreciate how every word drips with double meaning :) (And, I hope the silence doesn't return. I have missed writing.)

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  29. Such imagery, and voice of tenderness. I always love reading ur poems out loud. Wounded by the wondering scent. So kool. The aroma of certain things always trigger emotion in me of times and places and events. Excellente!

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  30. Ah, it's like a beating heart on the sidewalk. Your words are so bittersweet.

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  31. You transported me to a different time and place and I loved the journey.

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  32. This is so lovely and moving. I love the emotion you drew from nature.

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  33. Look at all those reviews...popular girl I dare say. I feel wounded sometimes when I get so nostalgic about a place and time in my life. So many things I want to remember, and a few I want to forget, but many times I would love to relive if I could. Not saying I'm not happy, I am always happy I think....now see, you made me go and start thinking and rambling...sorry. Great writing and thought process today Grace...loved this.

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  34. Lovely poem, Heaven! Of course being wounded isn't lovely, but you captured it beautifully.

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  35. the maple leaf singing under the tongue is a wonderful image.. intense emotions captured with the yearning for the scents and the world of where the roots are..felt...and neruda is for sure an inspiring writer

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  36. This poem is like biting into a lucious tropical fruit...rich imagry..and wanting to hang on to the lushness of it...knowing sometime soon, no more bites left. Liked this alot!

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  37. Emotional and beautiful

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  38. "Suddenly my breast clenched in memory of
    my roots, shorelines stringed of coconut husks,
    halved, its fleshy juice quenching my thirst,
    and I stopped, wounded by the wandering scent."

    What can I possibly say except, simply superb!

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  39. I read this the other day but apparently was interrupted before commenting. Sorry about that. :)

    This is gorgeous, sad, and moving. In all your pieces, you activate the senses in such a way that I feel as if the words are my own.

    Beautiful:

    "Adrift in the city, I picked up a fallen twig
    and lifted its whisper to my pale lips"

    "the maple leaf
    sang under my tongue"

    "my breast clenched in memory of
    my roots"

    The ending is my favorite:

    "and I stopped, wounded by the wandering scent"

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  40. 'wounded by the wandering scent'- now THAT is a line.....great piece using tangible objects rooted in the earth to reminisce and give a sense of reflection....nice....very nice!

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  41. Thank you everyone for your lovely words ~

    I appreciate them ~

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  42. There's so much that the world gives us in its essence, carrying us off to worlds far away, into lands that brighten our day. When such a mere thing as a teig can inspire such words, such beauty it says a lot about the world, and just as much about the poet who sings them. Wonderfully beautiful poem.

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  43. The imagery of two places interwoven - the beauty of the ocean tropics laps the cool, tightness of the Canadian landscape here. Wonderful the way you let the metaphors of each overlay each other to create a marriage of sight and sound. Wonderful.

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  44. so full of flavors, and even more delicious on the third read.

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  45. Gorgeous poem... I love lifted its whisper... how touching, lovely enjoyable read!

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  46. Fantastic imagery! So emotional and a real pleasure to dwell over, awe inspiring1 xoxo

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Thanks for your visit and comments ~ I appreciate them ~